I was sitting in the bar, nursing a headache,
and a dollar whispered “In God we trust.”
“Look who is talking!” I gagged,
“You double-crossing slithering snake!
God kicked you out of His good temple
and you have a nerve to lie in His name!”
“He threw me out,” admitted the dollar.
“And for that he died on the cross.
He’s up in the sky, I’m here on Earth -
we work together just fine, thank you.
People use me to steal and murder
and him to repent and to do it again.”
“You, creeping son of a dirty bastard!
I don’t kill and steal if you have to know!”
“Then use me to pay for your beer,”
he said. “I’ll use you for something else,”
I answered. I folded the dollar in two,
Set it on fire and lit my cigar.
The dollar shrunk in a spit of ash,
I put my feet on a chair and smiled.
“In God we trust,”
I heard the same whisper -
A brand-new dollar lay in the ash tray
And President Washington laughed in my face.